More that just making a bad feeling go away.
That point in time when you can’t locate that pain you’ve carried and depended on for a point of reference is what I sought after. For my own pain and now for others who I’ve helped walk through the EPTworks process for 20 years. There is that definite point in the process when the pain ceases, and there is a relief.
But what comes after the bad feeling or pain is gone?
A new identity.
One woman I worked on who had carried a constant headache for over 25 years, said, “I’ll go home a new wife to my husband tonight.” She left in sort of a daze. I was also amazed and intrigued that she never came to me again after that life-altering experience. She paid her bill and left. Emotions and the expression of love is the focus of EPTworks, not just the ceasing of pain. Lives change when pain ceases. When your pain has consumed so much attention, but now it’s not there is an odd place for many.
How you change your life in loving others is a completely new place when the pain ceases. Some just go away because they used their pain to serve an internal need to isolate from intimacy in relationships. Recognizing the resistance in myself to grow from
helplessness to helper;
self-justification to forgiveness;
limits on pleasure and gratitude to thankfulness in all things
is the greater shift away from pain. This is more than letting go, but beginning something new and growing into a new experience that glorifies our Creator. It feels great! Seeing the process and going toward the points of resistance is important in EPTworks. It becomes an amazing journey of self-awareness and courage to see that what I thought held me in it’s power no longer does. Some statements for moving toward resistance to healing pain:
- I forgive myself for believing I can’t live without this pain.
- I forgive myself for using this pain as a block to my intimacy with others.
- I forgive myself for depending on pain to express what I am unable or unwilling to express verbally.
- I forgive myself for taking on pain as my expression of what I cannot make right for myself or for someone else.
- I give others permission to forgive me for using my pain to keep me from intimacy with them.
- I give myself permission to open up to a new feeling of compassion and intimacy with myself and to allow for the beginning of greater love and intimacy in my life and in my relationships.
Guest blogger: Sherry Hamilton
“I hate him and I’m over it! Unfortunately, I still have to deal with this man because we share children.”
It is still amazing to me that there are people who seriously ask the question, “Why forgive?” I suppose you may also ask “Why love?”. Forgiveness, after all, is an act of love. There is a deep underlying sadness that prompts the question, “Why love?”. The deepest hurt in your life usually comes from those you love the most. It is easy to understand why you would give up on love once you have experienced the pain from being hurt when you are loving someone. Loving does not carry a promise that allows you to control the outcomes of your relationships. People you love can still die, leave you or hurt you. Without forgiveness, you are left with all the pain, loss and anger. This negative energy takes up space that you could use to create more of what you really love and enjoy in life. 
