“I hate him and I’m over it! Unfortunately, I still have to deal with this man because we share children.”
For many, divorce doesn’t make a difficult relationship any easier.
Putting your marriage relationship to death, doesn’t fix the pain, failure and frustration.
Long after the divorce papers are signed, you may carry the emotional scars of being deeply hurt and disappointed by the one you loved, trusted and made babies with. Like death, with divorce there is a real sense of loss; an emptiness, failure and broken heart.
Three Steps to Heal After Divorce:
1)Let Go
Be willing to let go of what was: all the pain, blame, hurt, guilt, shame, failure and negative emotions of hatred, anger and frustration. Be willing to let go of what you hoped for: a future of love with this man and your children.
2) Forgive
Forgive yourself for your vow “till death do us part”
Forgive him for his vow “till death do us part”
Ask God to forgive you for your vow “till death do us part”
Forgive yourself for believing divorce is an unforgivable sin.
Forgive yourself for everything you may have done to cause this failure.
Forgive yourself for not being able to hold the family together.
Forgive yourself for believing your children will never get over the loss of their family.
Forgive yourself for believing you have to hate him or suffer to justify the divorce.
Forgive yourself for holding on to a family that doesn’t exist.
(the family that healed and stayed together)
Give your ex permission to forgive you for being unable to continue in this marriage.
Give your ex permission to forgive you for being unable to meet his expectations.
3) Open Your Heart
Without all this hurt and failure, what is now possible for your life? Without this pain and failure, I am free to:
- love myself and my children more
- attract more love into my life
- be happier and more confident than I have ever been
- trust love again
EPTworks is an amazing tool that uses the power of love and forgiveness to allow you to heal after divorce faster than you ever thought possible. If you are still carrying the pain of a failed marriage in your life; EPTworks can transform that hurt into positive energy that you can use to create more love in your life right now.
Dr. Annette, this made me think of the people who are in a marriage to stay, but they have given up on love and hope of feeling good in the marriage. A spouse that has closed to the feeling of love and affection because the feelings of resentment and hate are way bigger. Can you speak to the issue of not feeling any pleasure in a marriage? And how EPTworks can help that?